Researchers have studied dozens of couples as they discussed a conflict in their relationship. Measurement of levels of the stress hormone cortisol before and during arguments showed that cortisol levels rose during the argument (an indication of increased stress), and that’s no surprise. But those cortisol levels went right down to normal among those participants who were able to maintain a mindful attitude during the conflict. Mindfulness helped people recover from the stress of conflict, which is fantastic news for your partnership and your health. If you think you’re just not the mindful type, think again. Everyone can cultivate mindfulness! Start by committing to a meditation practice, even if you are ready to try just five minutes a day. When you and your spouse touch on a sore subject, try to notice your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without getting caught up in them. Instead of judging your reactions as bad or good, accept them with kindness. Practice being accepting of your partner’s experience too. Remember inner peace inspires outer peace.
"Without inner peace, outer peace is impossible.” Geshe Kelsang Gyatso